In her poem, “Big Girls Can’t", Di'Ovion Smith questions superficial standards forced onto women and girls while challenging her audience to think of beauty as a multidimensional quality. Smith is a junior at Tougaloo College.
"Big Girls Can't"
Big girls can't be beautiful
That's what a toxic culture beat into my head
I can't have this extra weight on my body or my thighs can't rub together
Just to receive an ounce of respect
Just an "ok" guy to notice me
Being a big girl isn't attractive so even if I am something like cute
I'm still not cute enough to ever actually matter
I see the way they look when I walk past in a half shirt
With my glistening belly ring
Like the smaller girl that just walked in two minutes before I did
But I'm dressed
Too indecently
Too provocatively
Which REALLY only means my size is the problem
So I gotta cover up to fit the standard
Just because the people around me don't approve
And Lord forbid I should wear anything stylish
Or actually try to look like I got fashion sense
Cause everybody knows that fashion ain't for big girls
And sweatpants with large t-shirts
And some slides
Or maybe sneakers
Is all they ever ‘pose to see me in
Big girls can’t be confident either
It’s pretty well known that a woman’s weight determines how she is treated
And what she should and should not do
I can't smile in pictures
I can't pose
I can't walk with a switch
I can't have pretty friends
I can't get my hair did
And Lord forbid
I see a cute guy
And might ONLY JUST wanna befriend him
I bet’ not look in his direction
Because when a big girl looks at a guy
She might offend him
Spoiler alert: just because I think you're cute doesn't mean I want you
Big girls can't feel free in their own skin
Lizzos and Tokyo Vanitys are embarrassments
Because big girls aren’t ‘pose to love themselves out loud
That means "glorifying obesity"
I mean, forget the proven fact that “big” doesn't always equal “unhealthy”
But if you’re big and you love yourself
Then you must be disconnected from reality
Big girls can't be happy
That's what a toxic culture beat into my head
It’s been hard at times to look at myself in the mirror
Because I learned to look through someone else’s eyes
But I've recently learned to unlearn
And realize that I am ME
Always have been and always will be
Nobody can tell me what a big girl can't
Do
Say
Wear
Or who I can love
Or befriend
Or what I can and cannot dream
Big girls can’t …
EXCEPT when I look through my own eyes
I CAN
I can see
LOVE
GREATNESS
KINDNESS
AMBITION
HEALING
and
HAPPINESS
Staring back at me
I accept myself, so I no longer give a damn about what you see.
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